Game - Tell me a joke

Caro1970

After a prolonged drought when the rain came, all the animals in the forest were happy except the Kangaroo. When the others asked him what the reason was for such sadness, the Kangaroo revealed that the rain meant that all its kids would now be playing inside.

Caro1970

Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.
“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here."

Caro1970

A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.
The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

Caro1970

Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.
"See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.
The second crows takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.
"Look at it's hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.

Caro1970

Kid going to his first day of school, he looks worried, his dad asks him, "What's wrong?"
Nervous, the kid asks, "How long do I have to go to school for?"
"Until you're 18", says the father.
The kid nods, and thinks about this quietly. When they get to the front gates of the school, the kid says, "Dad, you will remember to come and get me when I'm 18, won't you?"

Caro1970

A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer, "How long will it take me to get to the next town?"
The farmer didn't answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out "About 20 minutes!"
"Thank you. But why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?"
"Didn't know how fast you could walk".

Caro1970

Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue. Wondering what is was for, he joined it. People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front. As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this queue for and why are you now leaving it?"
The man said "This is the queue for Canadian Immigration Visas, but if you are getting one, I don't need one now."

Caro1970

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.
“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

Caro1970

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there.
"No", says the neighbour. "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?"
The neighbour says, "Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible… But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No", he says. "They’re all at the funeral."

TinyArtist

The Pope, the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop of Canterbury decide to go fishing, so they hire a boat and row out to the middle of the lake. However it's a very hot day and within an hour or two all the beer is gone.

"Let's row back to the shore and get a carry-out from the local pub," says the Pope.

"No need for that," says the Dalai Lama, and he steps over the side of the boat and walks across the surface of the water to the shore, then goes to the pub. Ten minutes later he's back with more beer. He walks across the water to the boat and steps inside.

Half an hour later they've run out of beer again. This time the Pope says, "My turn!" He looks over the side of the boat and a big smile appears on his face. Then he steps over and walks across the water to the shore. Ten minutes later he's back with yet more beer. Again, he walks across the water to the boat.

Half an hour later and the beer is finished once more. The Archbishop steps over the side of the boat and instantly sinks below the surface, The other two drag him back aboard. As he lies coughing and spluttering in the bottom of the boat, the Pope says, "D'you think we should have told him about the stepping stones?"