My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
A man walks into the therapist's office and says, 'I think I might be a dog.' The therapist offers him a seat, and the man responds, 'Oh I'm not allowed on the furniture.